Pressure Black men put on Black women

The other day me and my friends were having a conversations with some of our friends and we got into a discussion about how black men put pressure on black women, and how black women put pressure on black men.

They Stated some good points saying that men put pressure on women by only dating a certain type of woman, as far as hair, body parts, and other appearances. But in the meantime the guy can really look how ever he wants too if they are in a relationship and it is suppose to be accepted just because they are the man in the relationship and they dont have to do any work. As far as their appearance or housework. they also stated that men make women feel like they are competing for their man with other women which is why it makes them insecure at times in the relationship.

In our rebuttal we stated that women pressure men more than women are pressured as far as relationships and even before, that the man does not only have to make majority of the money but regardless if the woman works or not, and all of his money is spent on the necessities, of living while the woman an feel free to spend money on all of her wants. Also after a man comes home from a long day of work he is badgered by the woman because he is considered to be not doing enough work at home as far as parenting or chores around the house. Then if the women makes more money than the man, she tends to hold it over the man’s head and is kind of looked down upon.

Republicans V. Everyone Else

If you turn on  a major news station, chances are the correspondents will be talking about the up coming presidential election. It has been a particularly nasty election already, with mud flinging against the president and other candidates at an all time high. Ron Paul landed in hot water when news stations got a hold of one of his old news letters wherein he describes African American men as being trained to be criminal. He denies writing the statements, instead pointing out that he does not actually write the newsletter, and often never read them.  I have been a casual Ron Paul supporter for years, so I found these statements to be shocking coming from such an intelligent man. It made me think of what the other candidates have been saying, and it has not been good.

Rick Perry’s family ranch in named Niggerhead. That is all kinds of inappropriate, but not necessarily his fault.

Newt Gingrich has been quoted as saying that black teenagers should be employed as janitors at their high school so they can learn the pride of hard work. He has also be quoted as calling Pres. Obama “the greatest welfare president”. Gingrich has been a high profile political figure for years so the fact that he felt this way wasn’t what surprised me; I was surprised he won South Carolina.

Mitt Romney repeated used the statement, “Keep America America”. The statement smacks of nativism and “Keep America American”, with the n, is an old Ku Klux Klan slogan. Romney claims ignorance.

Herman Cain is not exempt from his own racially charged comments just because he conceded defeat. He once compared the democratic party to a plantation, and likening himself and other black republicans as runaway slaves. he has also expressed interest in an electrified fence across the U.S./Mexican border. These comments recieved less backlash, perhaps because his campaign was already being sullied with a sex scandal. Cain appeared as a puppet for the Tea Party, not unlike former Republican Chairman Micheal Steele was for the Republican Party.

What does it say about the state of the Republican party that they cannot get  many legitimate African American politicians to join their party? Republicans are pushing the issue of class warfare very heavily this election.  Many candidates have alluded the laziness of the poor as being a large part of the troubled economy. This in turn makes it a racial issue when their examples for poverty are always black people. What does it say about the state of the political arena when labeling the poor and those without means as the parasites of the nation is what garners votes?

Black Men Who Prefer Light Women

While watching BET hit show “The Game”, I realized an important issue amongst the African American community: black men who only date light or white women. One of the main characters, Jason Pitts, is a perfect example of this. He is light skinned male who is constantly teased about his preferences of women as it is obvious he prefers white women over black. When he does decide to date black girls, they are lighter in skin tone with straight hair (white features).

While I am light skinned, I am perturbed by this issue. Being a student on UNCC campus, I have encountered many black males who only will date light skin women (who are usually bi-racial) or white women. Coming from a bi-racial home myself, I’m personally for “mixed” relationships. However, my problem is when guys purposely exclude dating girls who fit a racial profile. I find it extremely disrespectful to black women as it can be viewed that black girls are not as special as someone who is light or mixed. Just like Chardonnay in The Game, black women are then subjected to negative stereotypes as bitter, money hungry, and ugly. When I encounter men who has these preferences, I always question where they get their perception of women from. I just find it interesting that black men will exclude black girls even though their own mothers are black!

In this season of The Game, I do believe that Jason is going to come to terms with his selection for women. In the first espoide, Jason realized his daughter was beginning to perceive men the same way he saw women. Picking his daughter up from the movies, he discovered she was dating a white boy. Questioning her decision, he was shocked when she stated she learned it from him through his choice of women. This in addiction to being called out about his ways, I feel that he will open his mind to include black women in his dating pool.

It really is a sad thing to come across black men who are prejudice over black women. How can we tell our children that black is beautiful if black men is defining beauty as light or white?

Mad Black Women

I was having a conversation with my boyfriend and it kind of got heated and he called me an angry black woman because I was yelling at him. He started the argument but he felt that I was wrong for being mad about what we were discussing. I was fed up about it because he just assumes that I’m always angry when I’m not at all but if someone bothers you or comes to you with some BS then your attitude might change. That’s women in general and just because we are viewed as always loud and ghetto don’t make it true because I’m usually calm about everything until someone bothers me. I know the difference from being goofy and serious in situations and I handle them accordingly. Am I wrong for showing my emotions if I feel some type a way when someone comes at me wrong??? People have been listening to stereotypes for too long because if you assume then you will make an ASS out of U and ME or rather just you. We all have tempers and what we do with those tempers is up to us and we have to control them and men need to take their blame in it as well. We have a lot to be mad about but we can not keep dwelling on it or bringing it up every time that we get mad about something. My boyfriend was wrong for calling me an angry black woman when he caused me to feel anger towards him. Our ancestors were oppressed and the women were raped and it was nothing that they could do and they were probably very bitter from it. They had to overcome all of their problems and instead of people wanting to call black women “mad” or “angry” they should be calling us strong because black women deal with more ridicule than any other race of women.

Black women vs. White women and the “WOW” factor

I recently observed a black woman and a white woman both apply for similar positions and both equally qualified, but yet the black woman got the position. Now the only problem that I have with this situation is that the black woman only got the position because she was black. Now what may come to mind when someone first hear this may be the company is trying to meet a quota or some sort of affirmative action. The underlying story behind the black woman getting the position over the white woman is that it is typical that between looking at a black woman and a white woman, that the white woman would excel and “of course” be a good fit for the job.  In this situation seeing that the black woman and the white woman were completely equal in credentials and qualifications, it would be looked more highly upon if the company showcased a sophisticated, smart, good looking black woman(which is not typical supposedly), versus a white woman who being in the position is not anything unsual considering that is the typical type person who holds the position. To sum it up, a not expected black woman in the position would look better than the white woman who is the same old, same old, nothing special. I really see this as ludicrous. It just shows and capitalizes on the fact that there are still indiscretions in the workplace pertaining to people of color. The fact that the black woman would be such a “wow” factor makes you say to yourself, if their were a more workplace it would not be such a rare thing to see a black woman in a quality position, compared to a white woman, because you would see more of a diverse workplace. This to me just seems as if black people still have a ways to go, and despite all of the affirmative actions and policies put in place, jobs are still doing things their way.

Hiding behind the Curves

In another one of my women’s studies classes we had a discussion that was all about body image and how young women feel the need to mirror the body images seen in the media via super models and celebrities. However, I don’t quite agree with this idea when it comes to the majority of young black women and how they view their bodies. In my own experiences I’ve heard many young girls talk about how they look at music video girls and try to mirror their body type. But it makes me wonder, why it is that so many of them feel this way? I believe it’s because those women seem to receive all the desired attention from men, the money and the nice clothes which draws young teenage girls to their lifestyle. But it’s a trap that ultimately leads to low self-esteem, because it’s an impossible expectation that then makes these young women upset that they can‘t actually meet it. In reality, most of these “videos girls” either have been photo shopped to receive these perfect measurements of having a large chest, flat stomach, and large hips or they have had work done to receive this attention.
Regardless, I still realize that not all everyone can be generalized. Some of these women are blessed to have measurements close to what our African American media deems as “perfect“. Although, majority of black women do not, some women have big hips and small breast while others have large breast and small hips. A number of young teenage girls go to extreme lengths to get this body, because even our own black men discriminate against a woman if she is not shaped according to the socially constructed norm placed on us by society. I believe that all of this assists in lowering the self esteem of our black sisters because as I previously stated: it is rare that women actually have the perfect measurements to uphold this stigma that is placed on television.

Discrimination in our own race??

I felt the need to talk about this situation, because it absolutely boils my blood. I had another topic I was going to post this week but today I encountered this situation and I needed to get this off my chest. No offense to anyone of any sexuality or gender but this need to be said.

We as women need to realize that we already are a minority and being AA that’s another minority so we are already two strikes down; I can’t seem to understand why there is no sisterhood amongst us. We would rather talk about each other and discriminate because the hue of our skin. It makes absolutely no sense why women of color cannot get along. African sisters would rather talk about AA women not being real African descent because they don’t know or practice the ways of ancestors or light skinned women thinking they are better because they are closer to white. One of the worst examples sad to say are the Greek sororities. The biggest rivalry are the AKA & DST, two prominent and intelligent group of women who can’t get along because one feels that the other is not competition because of the skin color. They would rather fight and argue with one another than to come together and be powerful. These sororities were not created for this purpose and they should not be carried on in such manner.

Another issue that boils my blood is how as AA we cannot come together as one and support one another. I am a lesbian, plain and simple. It annoys me that some of my friends and family judge me because of my sexuality. I do not discriminate any sex, race or, class; so I can’t understand why people my own race judge me and shun me for what I am. As AA people we know what it is like to be oppressed and not being able to live and love freely so what gives us the right to deny someone else the right to love freely? I feel that AA people need to see the bigger picture and stop being so shallow minded.  We seriously need to come together as a race of people and support our own race no matter the condition, women, men, homosexual, or heterosexual.

Woman on Top

The time is right for women to excel and step into challenges of leadership. Research shows that in recessionary times like these, firms with more women in higher executive positions perform better than women with less. Womens’ Roles have evolved so much in the past ten years and to see women like Sheryl Sandberg take advantage of this and speak out about the issue is amazing to me. Seeing a sucess story like Sandberg’s is very empowering and throughout the next couple of years I believe that women like her, sharing their success story, will become more and more frequent, which EXCITES me!

My favorite part of Sheryl Sanberg’s speech is when she talks says “make your partner a real partner.” Sharing the roles I believe is a start to equal success beween genders. She talks about going to her child’s school functions and the father (who stays at home) is the only one to play with their children at the function. Sandberg talks about the exploitatuin that comes along with women in the workplace. If a man stays at home he is looked at as “The family man” but women are not percieved as that. And if women are in the workplace they are percieved as “selfish” for taking advantage of time with their children.

Woman on Top   <<<<<Click on this link to watch the video 🙂

Casual Conversations

Just something I was thinking about so I decided to post.

I feel as black woman at times we can be our biggest opponent. Often I hear all the time walking around look at her, she ________ or she think she ________ (you can fill in the blank). When you fill in the blank I am pretty sure that most of the things are negative.  I hear very few African American females say something positive about another female. I’m not saying I am above this, I think as women we all have said something about whether we knew the person or not.  Some people wonder why Caucasian and African American men talk about and degrade black women in some of the way they do.  I am not saying its right because I don’t agree with it but when you talk about a person around other people that makes them think since you talk about that person it is ok for them to do the same. I never really hear African American women uplifting each other although in certain organization in school I think the female members may uplift one another in doing task. Usually female’s especially African American females see each other as competition instead of allies.  As we read about African American women and all that they have done to get us rights and to be viewed as equals, in today’s society we still look at our own African American sisters in ways we should not. At times African American women contribute in oppressing other African American women.