Category Archives: BP #7

Interracial Relationships : Just Be You!

First off, let me start off by saying that I am a BIG advocate for interracial relationships! Not only am I a hopeless romantic (whatever the hell that means) but I’ll be the first one to break out into a big Kool Aid smile when I see interracial couples!!!

With that being said, let me get into the purpose of this blog. In regards to relationships, I hold no discriminations towards any race! If I’m attracted to you, I could care less if you were brown, white, yellow, or red!

Most recently, I befriended a male classmate, who is white, who just admitted that he has always had the biggest crush on me. Extremely surprised, I asked him why am I now just hearing about it. He replied that he was scared to talk to me at first because he didn’t know how to talk to black women! Out of shock, I slapped him in the face and cursed him out!

Wait… I’m kidding. At least about the slapping and cursing part. If I would have done that, it would have just reinforced his fear of black women. But seriously, I was shocked yet not surprised to hear that. One thing I’ve always noticed with white guys who are brave enough to approach me off of a first encounter is that they feel the need to come at me as if they were “black” . When I say that, I mean that they’ll start talking to me in “slang” or popular terms or ask me things like “do you date white boys?”  I try not to be that person by going into a speech about how black girls are just like all other girls but really that is what I want people to understand.

Just because I’m black doesn’t mean guys of another race has to approach me any differently than a black guy would. I would actually prefer you to just be you. If you like Maroon 5 or Coldplay, don’t be afraid to like them (hell I like them too!) around me! Don’t put on a front like you have to listen to rap or be “swagged” out to even have a chance with me. Most importantly, DON’T BELIEVE THE STEREOTYPES. Not all Black women are materialistic and money hungry so don’t approach me bragging about how much money you have thinking I will become interested.

Just be you and approach me like you would any other woman of any other race (as long as its respectfully). Trust me when I say, Black girls are just the same as everybody else.

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Labels…..Are we what they say we are?

I found the picture above while looking at my live feed on Facebook and it interested me. So this week I decided to blog about labels and stereotypes and how society uses them. For one the label of being Muslim and automatically you are a terrorist. That is not true in any way shape or form there are many terrorist In the US even the world and all of them are not Middle Eastern men and Muslim. The label of being homosexual and sinning; doesn’t the bible state that all sins are equal, & everyday people sin by drinking smoking and doing harm to their bodies or even politics people treating others as if they were not equal so who is anyone to condemn a person for being homosexual. The biggest label in the picture is that of being black is most degraded stereotype there is. Racial profiling as it pertains to crimes, law enforcement are quick to look at black people as being the aggressor whether they are victims or not perfect example is the Trayvon Martin case. Have they arrested Zimmerman yet? I rest my case even when a woman of color is claiming to be raped they will scrutinize the woman and interrogate her and accuse her of lying and stating consensual sex than believe that she was assaulted. The rich and the poor are labels as well the rich get all the amenities while the poor struggle and the middle class is left out by having to exist between the other two; Of all the people living in America the 10% of people that are rich own at least 80% of property. Then they monopolize and knock out the mom and pop stores or the made in America brands. People would rather go buy expensive clothes and shoes made overseas by a third world slave than to buy something that’s not name brand in America. And they wonder why the economy is suffering? Rich people tend to get the best treatment and when it comes to law enforcement they are handed easier punishments. The best example is Lindsay Lohan she has been in trouble how many times? And they keep giving her a slap on the wrist and rehab. I mean really lock her up with general population and give her the sentence she really deserves one time she will stop for good.  And what about this woman that threw flour on Kim Kardashian. I honestly thought it was quite funny but as soon as she did it they locked her up. But its ok for these stars to break their fans phones and punch them in the face?

I feel that the US is the biggest example of inequality. They try to hide it with Affirmative Action and Equal Employers but at the root the US are some racist, capitalist, sexist, classist bigots. The US wants to brag about being the best country in the world, if that’s the case why did it take almost 400 years for us to have a president of Color, and we have yet to see a woman. The labels and stereotypes that society lives by is causing the economy to crash and it will lead us into a depression if something isn’t done soon. I honestly feel that the US should take pointers from the Communist China and some of their practices because they are thriving and they are nowhere near the debt the US has.  At the end of the day The Rich need to get a little Poorer and the Poor needs to get a Richer. All of these labels we live by need to disappear and people just need to be people and it will all get better.

Stay in school

Politicians will say anything to get reelected. Recently, Obama was attacked by the republicans when he said he believed all Americans deserve the opportunity to go to college. He was called an elitist by political opponents for this hope. In the land of the free, should college be only for the elite? Does lacking a college education leave black women feeling further marginalized, and at what point has America’s education system been surpassed by much of the industrialized world? Isn’t is suspicious that there is a consistent blind eye turned to the education system within the country(with the exception of the lottery)? Why isn’t education valued as it should be, not only by women, but the black community as a whole? The bachelor degree isn’t what it used to be and more and more it seems to be in the class a degree is required so why isn’t it the main emphasis of politicians. Probably because there wouldn’t be enough desperate women to manipulate.

No offense….

So I shared with the class last week  the experience I had where my white roommate, who is also my friend, made a comment about African American women’s hair.  Just in case this is your first time hearing this I shall explain.  My friend and I was sitting in the courtyard of the student union just hanging out and a young black lady walks by.  So when she’s out of viewing distance my friend turns to me and asks could she ask me a question and of course I was like sure.  This is exactly what she said to me, “So obviously we both could tell that was a weave, but I was just wondering, can black women have long hair?”.  After sharing this question with you all, it was pretty clear that everyone kind of felt the way I did, some a little more upset than me.  Regardless, when it happened I was mostly shocked, not mad because she was my friend but very shocked.  I couldn’t even get mad because at the time, to be honest, I was trying to come up with a slick comeback like “If you gone ask me a stupid question, let me ask you, can white women’s hair ever stay in a style without looking frizzy and wet, ewww” see I wanted to say something just off the wall to her, but I knew that she honestly did not know any better.  She had not seen a black woman with “long” hair unless it was a weave.  What a white girl would consider long hair is probably totally different than what I would consider long.  I’ve had black women comment on my hair as being long and my hair is a little more than shoulder length.  So when I was over being shocked I gave her a reasonable answer and we went on about our day. I realize that everyone probably has questions about other races/cultures or things you may just want to know but do you feel comfortable enough to ask someone of that race/culture?  So I’m glad that our relationship is close enough for her to be able to ask me that without being afraid of what I would say and that I could answer her without going off.

POWER

Power is a subject that was talked about in our readings for this week.  Power is most often defined as control and domination over a person.  In Bell Hooks reading it is pointed out that power comes from within.  When white women looked for examples of power they look toward white men instead of looking at the black women who have to find the strength and energy to go on every day.  Women and especially black women have a lot of power but it is not recognized because they are not hold powerful position or dominating other people.

It takes a strong person to be able to endure domestic violence everyday and still find the strength to push on.  In Black Feminist Thought it is said that, “Many African-American women have had to exhibit independence and self-reliance to ensure their own survival and that of their loved ones.”  The book goes on to say that this image can leave black women feelings stuck in a domestic violence situation because they feel that they should be able to deal with it on their own as seen by the “independent black women.” I think everyone needs help and no one person can figure out everything on their own.  The women who “exhibit independence and self-reliance” have found (know) their power; the women who feel that they should be able to handle the situation on their own but are not able to just need help tapping into their power.

Happy-To-Be-Nappy

In this article it talks about a group of black women that started a campaign to donate 40 black Barbie dolls to young black girls. However, they made the dolls have curly hair. The aim of this campaign is to show girls that it’s okay the way God made them. I found this article interesting because I can remember growing up and wondering why there weren’t any dolls that looked like me.

Furthermore, this article made me think of the doll test article that we read and also the video that we watched in class. I feel as though if there were more dolls that looked like African Americans, then young children would grow to have more self-love and self-acceptance. This could be a start to reconstruct young minds that feel as though white dolls look more themselves instead of black dolls. Nevertheless, parents should be teaching their children to love themselves.

Role Models for Young Girls

The women in the mainstream media today are those that young girls look up to. Last week in one of my classes we discussed how young girls chose their role models, in a study it was found that many young girls base their role models off their appearance, their talents, and their personality and a majority of the women they named as role models were singers and actors. A lot of girls focus on these things to choose their role models because they have things that they themselves desire. Young girls feel that if they could be like these women then they can be accepted by their peers and live a greater life.

These ideas that even young girls today have reminded me of Pecola in The Bluest Eye. The fact that even today the ideas in Morrison’s novel are relatable is amazing yet unfortunate at the same time. We can’t always determine who is in the media and the women that young girls will be exposed to, but one thing is clear, those that are seen by young girls today aren’t the best role models. We have to work together to ensure that there are positive women for young girls to look up to and that they learn what is important, which is not just fortune and fame.

Domestic Violence

Domestic violence! A disease that effects not only the abused but all that comes in contact with the situation. Rather it is physical abuse or emotional it leaves scars and images that all involved are haunted by. Growing up I have seen women in my family being abused most being my aunts.  I have seen my mother take them in trying to help both them and my cousins escape the situation only to result in them going right back and enduring more pain. When reading black feminist thought and it discussed how “abused women, are often silenced by the image of the “superstrong” black women. I took that as a good number of abused women want to be that woman that has the capability to walk away from abuse but they feel powerless. And in being the “superstrong” woman would mean tearing their family apart and exposing herself to the criticism of others.
Domestic violence still goes on today and if this is what our black men today still feel they have to use in order to be a man; we have failed as a people to challenge what black masculinity means. They need to realize being a man it is not the ability to “own” or “control” women. However, not to forget the young ladies that we bring into this world, we need to mold their minds and show them what it means to love your self and how to view black femininity as well.

Bad Bitches vs. Real Women

What is the definition of a “bad bitch”? It is defined by different rappers and mainly it’s something sexual to describe women’s bodies and what their ass should look like or how they should look and how good their sex should be in order to qualify. I don’t define myself as a bitch at all because that word is very degrading but I can admit that I have called other females bitches that I don’t like. Many women like when a man call them bad bitches and how they put the phrase out there is not meant to be mean in any way but it’s not a positive word to define a woman. I hear people calling themselves bitches all the time but why would anyone want to put themselves down like that. I would rather be called a real woman and gain respect from others because that’s how I define myself and I expect others to treat me that way. I know that I need to change my ways with what I call other people so I won’t get called bad names as well. Bitch is considered to be a female dog and why would anyone want to be thought of as an animal. Real women are different from bad bitches because a woman don’t need to be defined by a man but a bitch is a name given by men to keep women in their place. We need to stop calling other women bitches and start empowering them by calling them women and let the word bitch die out.

Webbie ft. Trina “Bad Bitch”- http://youtu.be/GCiWt3W_zRI