Category Archives: BP #9

Killing me softly.

In class we discussed the objectification of black women’s bodies. That intrigued me to blog about this because it is too important and it is being allowed. Something needs to be done to correct.  Tanisha mentioned the vodka commercial and how they show the woman’s bod parts and then continue on to become a robot dancing. While it is a funny commercial on the surface; when you look into the deeper meaning you realize that there is an objectification of the woman’s body. I feel that this reason alone is why people feel the way they do about the woman’s body especially the black woman’s body. There is so much emphasis on the big butts and big boobs. I deal with it on a daily basis. I cannot help that I am heavy up top; that doesn’t give any man or woman the right to objectify my body and focus on my breast. I have noticed numerous times that men will just boldly stare at my breast it is embarrassing. It almost makes me want to walk around with turtle necks all the time. I could be in the middle of a conversation with a male or female and notice that they will be staring at my breast instead of focusing on what I am saying. The popular media is to blame for the way people act. With all these rappers and commercials focusing on the woman’s body instead of her personality is disrespectful. I guess the saying “sex sells” is the main focus of this campaign. The film Killing us Softly is the perfect resource to see all the sexual objectification of the woman’s body. I was outraged by the amount of media that partakes in the objectification of women’s bodies.

The worst part of this all is that women take part in the campaign against their own bodies. They capitalize on being “video vixens” and showing of their voluptuous body parts. The argument they have is why allow someone else to make the money off of their goods when they can capitalize and make the money themselves. Why that is a correct argument, I would encourage women to take a different approach find other ways to break the business of objectification of women. If all women came together and fight then it would end and we can change that way. Don’t play into the game and allow people to objectify the body.

 

 

Issue I’m dealing with…

What I’m starting to realize is that a lot of women and men do not actually know what rape is.  Just because he/she didn’t punch you in the face or kick you in the stomach doesn’t mean you weren’t raped.  Just because he/she didn’t threaten you with a weapon doesn’t mean you weren’t raped.  Just because you didn’t go to the police afterwards, or just because you never told anyone, doesn’t mean you weren’t raped.  And the biggest misconception of rape yet; just because you said yes at first doesn’t mean you weren’t raped.  Anytime the word “no” or “stop” comes into the picture of sexual intercourse that’s the period to the sentence, that’s the end, you’re suppose to stop.  If he or she is forcing you to do it and you have made it plain that you don’t want to, whether you fight him/her, or you’re too scared or ashamed to fight and you just wait for it to be over, that’s rape.  The issue of rape has been heavy on my heart because honestly I’m dealing with it myself.  It happened to me in August of 2009, and I just opened up to someone in November of 2011, and I just told my mom last week.  The whole reason I’ve kept this to myself this long is because at the time I didn’t consider it rape.  In my mind, yes I said no and I said I really don’ t want too, but at the same time at first I said yes, and I put myself in the situation.  Then afterwards it was the thoughts of having to explain what happened to my parents, the police, the fear of people in my city and community finding out, going to trial, and all this two weeks before I leave for college.  This past November I went to see the documentary in the union “It Was Rape” by Jennifer Baumgardner and I stayed for the discussion afterwards, and that is when I realized when I changed my mind and said no the next step should’ve been me walking away from the situation.  She said something toall of  us after the event that I will never forget, “Don’t ever blame yourself; I don’t care if you were butt naked in his bed and at first you wanted it when you decided never mind this isn’t what you want to do, he needs to get up”.  Its so true.  After this, I could finally admit it, but I’m not going to charge the guy or anything because I have let it go and I have already forgiven him, but I definitely want to help make this issue aware.  I have shared my story with a couple friends and it hurts that everyone I have shared it with has had similar experiences.  This issue is something that has been going on for so long and we got to take a stand for the next generation.

Miss Representation

While doing some research, I came across this website and video trailer for a film called Miss Representation. This film exposes how American youth are being sold the idea that women and girls’ value lies in their youth, beauty and sexuality. The Miss Representation campaign seeks to empower women and girls and challenge media labels. I found this trailer and website to be quite interesting, seeing how we have been discussing media representation of women. Although this campaign doesn’t solely target African American women, I think it’s good for women of all walks of life to come together and fight against media labels. At the end of the day, African American women aren’t the only ones being misrepresented in the media.

Act Like A Man, Think Like A Woman

Everyone should be familiar either with Steve Harvey’s book, Act Like A Lady but Think Like A Man, or the movie the book is based off of, Think Like A Man. The book is a self-help guide for women to help them understand men and relationships. It gives women tips and advice as how to approach men and keep them. Some of the tips vary such as implementing a 90 day rule before having sex, not to cut back on sex, and how to deal with “mama’s boys.”

Though I think this book is entertaining and educational, there are some issues that came to mind…

1. The title. I’m not pointing my finger solely on Steve Harvey, but there is always an association with men thinking logically with their minds, while women think irrationally, emotionally with their hearts. This gives women a disadvantage as it gives the impression that men are smarter than women. In order to be the perfectly happy woman (presumably with a man), a woman must think not like a woman, but a man.

2. The need to have a self help book for women, in particularly African American, in the first place. There is always the myth that African American men are the worst as they have commitment issues and can not own up to their responsibilities as a father or husband. Therefore, this gives a negative image to African American women as they receive backlash for being loyal to “good for nothing” men and suffering with hard breaking consequences. Single mothers and poverty is two popular images associated with Black communities.

3. There is a constant stereotype that women need to cater to the needs of men before they can be ready to be in a full committed relationship. Women must adjust who they are and how they act, in order to entice and keep men interested. Almost along the lines of manipulation, women must learn how to use their main biological difference, their vagina, to attract his interest and then satisfy it. This highlights a big problem as it gives men “excuses” or “passes” for infidelity, while women learn how to accept and deal with it. Men are not held responsible for their actions, while women are left to clean up the actions. Men are allowed certain behaviors, while women are excluded. Women must always “act like a lady”, when “boys will always be boys.”

Nevertheless, I heard this movie is great. I’m adding it to my (long) list of movies to see and the book? I’m currently reading it now. So far so good, but while my opinion may be bias, I feel that women think more rationally than men, therefore, men should think like women.

Female Athletes=Too Aggressive.

Someone posted a crude joke about the WNBA draft on my facebook and rather than respond, I thought about females in sports. As a kid I loved sports but never had much of a competitive streak in me. I always told myself it was for fun and exercise and the outcome was irrelevant. I don’t believe sports have to be taken as life and death, and I also don’t believe your value should be rated by how much you can win. However, I have heard older women who have cautioned me against being overly c0mpetative as it is a turn off for men, especially black men. The reasoning was simple;women are not competitive or aggressive, men are. If you are competitive you might have other negative attributes. This is displayed in the real world not only by Olympic grade athlete Caster Semenya being subjected to genetics testing, but the Venus sisters being formally warned against the volume of their grunting during tennis matches. Being a successful female athlete comes secondary to casual viewers to that of a feminine beauty. Danica Patrick and Anna Kornakova are testaments to that. times are shifting and women are active, but do negative stereotypes of women competing in sports still resonate? Why is the NBA revered and the WNBA openly mocked? Will there ever be a sport that is dominated by women and watched more than its male counterpart, will it involve lingerie?

Masterminds, Millionaires and Moguls

Masterminds, Millionaires and Moguls, a program bought to campus by YOUniversity Drive that was sponsored by Student Affairs, The Multicultural Resource Center, and United Black Professionals.   The panel was made up of five millionaires.  Mr. Manwell Bynum is the President/CEO of Connectivity Concepts.  Dr. Masherrill Koonce is the Owner/Optometrist of Charlotte Optometric Center.  Nigel Long is the Founder/Principal/Managing Director of Trade Street Advisors, LLC.  Mimi Sabates is an Entrepreneur/Business Development Director of Legacy Talent & Entertainment.  George Forrest is the Owner/Operator of McDonald’s Corporation.  Michelle R. Horton was the Host and she is the Founder/CEO of YOUniversity Drive, LLC.  The panel was excellent and they were insightful.  There were two women on the panel which shows that women can make it in a successful career.  Mimi Sabates stated during the program that she had gone bankrupt about a year ago and she has just started over.  She said that she asked people that she knew if she could help them and do jobs for them and now she is back on her feet.  That lets people know that even if you find yourself at the bottom you can make your way up again.  Towards the end of the program Nigel Long stated that he has something called the 7 steps.  First step: Set goals. Second Step: Define a strategy for the goal/Device a plan for goal recognized game.  Third Step: Recognized game/Connect the dots (know what is new and going on in your area of study) Fourth Step: Get over yourself (know how to ask to help and take in new information) Five Step: Always focus on obtaining Financial Independence.  Six Step: Time/Hustle Hard (take advantage of time because you can’t get it back) Seven Step: Pray (I think this a very important step).

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Postpartum Depression Tied to Domestic Violence?

Survey of new moms found that 1 in 14 were a violent relationship and 50% of mothers that were screened positive for a violent relationship were also screened positive for depression, compared to 22% who were not in violent relationships. The moms who screened positive for domestic violence were also twice as likely to screen positive for postpartum depression.

These are somewhat surprising numbers in statistics but its kind of obvious where the connection between postpartum depression and domestic violence can take place. Even though there is no definite connection between the two or that one causes the other, this new data will be very helpful in the pediatric world and for mothers. With new information on the connection between the two,  pediatricians are more likely to screen mothers for postpartum depression and provide them with the right information and assistance they may need.

My Pledge of Allegiance to Me

http://www.tributetoblackwomen.com/poems/pledge.htm

My Pledge of Allegiance to Me

Written by Letitia L. Hodge

There’s more to me than the human eye can see.

I’m a woman of purpose and destiny.

A perfect design, I’m special and unique.

I won’t be identified by the parts that make

up my physique.

My beauty is not defined by my skin or my hair

and my soul has more value than

the clothes that I wear.

I’m not a symbol of pleasure or sex appeal;

I have the natural ability to comfort

and the power to heal.

When God made me, He created a gem

because He fashioned me in the likeness of Him.

I refuse to do anything that will put God to shame.

I deserve to be treated with reverence

and called by my name.

I can’t be purchased or sold at any price

because I’ve already been bought and paid

for by the precious blood of Christ!

This was a nice poem that speak a lot of volume and letting women know that we are not defined by our outward appearance. We should “WOW” people by what we bring to the table with our minds not our bodies. Also that God created us and that we should be treated how God treats us.