Black women and the church
Black women in my family and community were all brought up in the church. It was and still is the place where many black females go for love, safety, security, and overall comfort. Black women are loyal to their churchhomes in ways that sometime rival their families; holding the church and pastor above all else. I recall being in church at least three days a week and living on the same block guaranteed I would never miss a service. I sometimes wonder how loyal the church is to its humble servants. I have a friend who works tirelessly at her church and does whatever is asked or needed of her. Her fiance had even mentioned that she spends maybe too much time fulfilling church duties and obligations. With so much time and energy put into the church, I was shocked when she was given the run-around when she wanted to have her wedding there and for her pastor (with whom they had been through mandatory couples counseling) to perform the ceremony. For weeks on end she would call and wait and it became so frustrating that she ended up having it at another venue with a pastor from a friends church. She was hurt, and the sad part was that it became more of a business and the top employees were never more distant. When they needed her she was always there, but when she needed them for one of the biggest days of her life, they treated her like a stranger. Now I know that this is not a blue print for all churches, but I do believe that black women’s loyalty to the church is off the charts and sometimes it is not returned. Many do not speak about it because it is the church and it’s a sensitive subject, but our faith is within us, not the building.